


I'm Checking Out-Goombye (The What's New Pussy-Cat mix)

by karaokegal



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-10
Updated: 2012-04-10
Packaged: 2017-11-03 09:30:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karaokegal/pseuds/karaokegal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A different point of view on the break-up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Checking Out-Goombye (The What's New Pussy-Cat mix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [igrockspock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/igrockspock/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The End of the Affair](https://archiveofourown.org/works/292713) by [igrockspock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/igrockspock/pseuds/igrockspock). 



> Thanks to [evila_elf](http://evila-elf.livejournal.com/), my amazing beta, who helped me get into my main character's head.

“Quit complaining. I didn't get dinner either.” 

_So? Just because you don’t have the common sense to take care of yourself when someone named Inspector calls doesn’t mean I should suffer. I’ve been alone here half the night and frankly it’s been none too warm. So let’s get that food bowl filled right now, shall we?_

It was clear that she wasn’t listening. Not that she ever really did, and if she listened, she certainly didn’t understand. If she understood, I wouldn’t be eating that dry food out of a bag.

Things weren’t like this when I lived with Mrs. Finchley-Stratton in Mayfair. She always fed me Sheba and sometimes scraps from the fishmonger. There was a special door and a back-yard and a fireplace. But one day Mrs. Finchley-Stratton didn’t wake up and the house was full of people and there was very unpleasant shouting about poison and murder and such like. 

That’s when Sally picked me up (less than gracefully, I’ll have you know) and said hello. I made myself busy not caring until she told me I was coming home with her. Well, then I cared, but it was too late to make a run for it. Strong grip on that one, and she didn’t listen to my protests. Bad precedent, that was. The next thing you know, it’s dry food and no fish-heads and I’m stuck somewhere in Hampstead. 

Sally wasn’t too bad, mind you, but she wasn’t around much and all the windows had bars on them. And to be quite honest, I wasn’t happy with some of the company she kept. Mostly that man who kept showing up at night. Always at night. There I’d be, perfectly arranged on her legs and as soon as the buzzer sounded, she’d move me aside to get out of bed. Naturally, I had to follow just to see what could be so important as to disturb my comfort.

The very first time he came over, he walked in without even acknowledging my presence, even though I’d gone to the trouble of saying hello. Terribly rude if you ask me, and that was before I’d even caught a whiff of him. I could barely breathe and kept as wide a berth as possible. 

They chattered and nattered like kittens. Something about how Freak had Lestrade by the nose. I had no idea what they were on about, but they both laughed over it. _Oh yes, very clever_ , I told them as I wandered away, leaving them to whatever jolly japes they had in mind. There were some intriguing bits of paper in the bin; I thought I might have go at those. 

Just when I was about to knock the basket over, I noticed him steering Sally toward the couch. Not sure what that was about, but I figured I better keep an eye on the situation. Then I saw Sally kneeling in front of him there. Maybe it was a game of some sort. I had a feeling she was going to look under her sofa and see the mouse that I’d carefully hidden. It wasn’t exactly pristine down there, what with the few crusts and bits of popcorn that I’d spotted on previous forays, but I had a feeling that she wouldn't appreciate finding my own little surprise.

I tried to distract her by getting my paws up on her back and letting her know there was something very important going on the kitchen. She kept ignoring me and I’m afraid I panicked and used my claws. That certainly got her attention, and Mr. Stinky’s. Sally let out a shriek and Mr. Stinky kicked me. I was fast and he barely touched me. Mostly I felt the lost of dignity, but the worst part was that she let him get away with it. I gave her a most outraged look, but she still followed him into the bedroom and locked the door.

This was completely unacceptable since I was used to sleeping with her, but my attempts to protest were drowned out by whatever was going on in there, which I have to say, sounded rather painful . I howled furiously. That was my territory! To further the point, I spent some time attacking the chair legs and the cushions of the sofa. 

Mr. Stinky kept coming over and closing the bedroom door. He never tried to kick me again, but I could always tell he wanted to. I hoped he wasn’t coming tonight. I ate quickly, just in case I needed to make myself scarce in a hurry.

I looked up and saw that Sally’s own food dish was mostly full. I guessed she wasn’t that hungry after all. I was considering a leap to her lap to see if there was anything I might be interested in when there was a ringing sound followed by Sally’s sigh. 

She sat there staring at the mobile, shaking her head in disgust.

“Idiot,” she muttered, although I had no idea who or what she was referring to. I knew she thought there were a lot of idiots out there. Most of her world seemed to be divided into fools, idiots and madmen. 

I couldn’t hear the other end of the conversation, but I could certainly tell that Sally was angry.

“Nothing,” she said, her tone suggesting it was far from nothing, and then she tore something off her arm and went to light a cigarette from her secret stash in the back of the silverware drawer. 

“You've done absolutely nothing.” She prowled the kitchen, smoking. “ _Brilliant_ deduction.” 

I’d heard sarcasm from Sally before, but that was breathtaking, even if I couldn’t tell what had provoked it. 

After the line was disconnected, she sighed again, and started to pick at her food.

Even though I told myself I didn’t care, I butted my head against her ankle. _Don’t be upset. You’ll do all right. Can I have that meatball?_ She looked down, as if just noticing I was still there, and then scooped me up and into her lap, stroking my back as I eyed the remains of her food. 

“You’re not going to take me for granted are you, Charlie?”

I arched my back against her hand and purred in the affirmative.

“Thanks, love. It’s nice to know someone gives a damn. Not going to make that mistake again.”

You never take the person with the food for granted. Now to find a way to get that meatball.

######

“Happy birthday, darling. Sorry I’m late, parking was a nightmare. We need to get going though, the curtain goes up at half two. I’ve made reservations at the Angel and Crown. Mum and Stanley are going to meet us there after the show. I can’t believe you want to see Wicked again. How many times does this make?”

I’d seen this one a few times before. She always came in smoking and talking. Today was no exception.

“Just a second. I need to make sure I leave food for Charlie. I don’t think he was very happy about it the last time I forgot.”

“Honestly, Sally. Why don’t you let me take this old thing off your hands?”

_Are you referring to me?_

“Looks like he’s up for it,” she continued, “I’m sure he’d be much happier out in the country. He could prowl around the grounds terrorizing voles instead of being stuck in this place alone all day.” 

I didn’t mind the idea of a bit more space, although I’d always been a city cat. I’d be pretty happy to terrorize voles, whatever they were. On the other hand…

_Old thing? Really? Even from down here I can see how much make-up you’ve got on and it isn’t really helping, darling. Not to mention my excellent view of your ankles. Not so young and fresh from where I’m sitting._

“I think he likes me.”

“No, Cathy. I have this flat and my job and Charlie and it’s going to stay that way.”

“Well, maybe if you had a man in your life, instead of having to borrow someone else’s.” 

If I were Sally, I would have used my claws right on someone’s face. I started looking for a place to make myself comfortable but where I would still be able to hear what happened. I ended up under the couch. Unfortunately, the mouse had been disposed of. Pity about that. Luckily there was plenty of entertainment to be had in the kitchen, where no one was bothering to whisper.

“What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, Sal. I know how you are. Always keeping secrets. Even back when we were kids. You and your manager at Tesco’s. I know you like your boss, that Lestrade fellow. He’s married, isn’t he?”

“Are you out of your fucking mind? Lestrade’s a good man.”

“But…”

“Look, Cathy. I was seeing someone, and now I’m not and that’s all I’m going to say. So let’s go and see Wicked and celebrate my birthday.”

“Fine. Hurry up. God forbid you should miss the opening to a show you’ve already seen five times.”

I came out from under the sofa as they were leaving the flat

“It just gets better and better. And keep your hands off my cat.”

 

####### 

“Well, sure, if you’re in the neighbourhood.”

It was Sally’s sarcastic voice, but I didn’t think she was talking to Mr. Stinky. It had been a long time since he was around, or any man for that matter. It was just me and her. The flat was being cleaned more frequently and it was generally warm. I hadn’t seen a mouse in ages. Still only dry cat food though, no matter how emphatically I expressed my preference. 

Soon a man came knocking at the door. Much shorter than Mr. Stinky. He brought some flowers with him. Mr. Stinky never did that. The most he ever brought was a bottle. 

She met him at the door, hands on hips, looking him up and down. I wasn’t sure she’d actually let him in. 

“Just happened to be in the neighbourhood? Where’d the flowers come from, then?”

“Stand near the tube station,” he replied. 

They stood there, the two of them. They stared at each other so long that I easily could have been out the door and into the hallway, toward new adventures and maybe a better class of food, before anybody noticed. But for some reason, I found the new man interesting. I decided to stick around.

“I said six months,” Sally stated drily, taking the flowers and putting them on the table. “It’s barely been three. And I believe the offer was to go out for a pint. Not a one way ticket into my flat.”

“I know. But I thought...maybe...you wouldn’t mind some company.” 

“You mean your so-called genius is driving you bonkers?”

“Uh...yes...well....”

This was getting ridiculously boring. I decided to make my presence known. I marched up to him and walked back and forth over his shoes telling him quite firmly to either shut the door or leave already. As always, interpretation was a problem.

“Hullo! Who’s this?” he asked, leaning down to cautiously stroke my head. He found a spot just behind my ears and scratched quite effectively. I let him know his attention was appreciated with a purr.

“This is Charlie,” Sally said by way of meagre introduction.

“Good to meet you Charlie. My name is John Watson. I’m supposed to be a doctor, although I’m not doing much of that these days, so you can just call me John.”

I repeated his name and he smiled, even though he couldn’t understand. He took the liberty of picking me up, but I didn’t mind. It reminded me a bit of the day I met Sally.

“Come on in, then.” 

Pretty redundant, since he’d practically carried me into the living room by that time. I dug my claws into his sweater when he approached the sofa at which point he let out a yelp and nearly dropped me. I managed to make a graceful landing onto the floor. He stood by the couch waiting, and I watched him cautiously. Something about strangers on that couch still made me nervous.

“Why is Charlie looking at me like that?”

“Dunno, she said, sitting down. “Why do cats do anything?”

Finally he shrugged and sat down next to her, still looking at me. 

John Watson seemed nice enough and I wanted some more of that scratching. I found a cosy spot, right between them, since they didn’t seem in much of a hurry to get close. I knew she was nervous when she turned on the telly and then turned it off again. A few seconds later, back on.

“Tottenham and Chelsea?” Sally asked, sounding half-bored.

“I’m an Arsenal man myself.” She shrugged and reached for the plastic thing again, but he stopped her. “You know, it’s been ages since I could just sit and watch a match with a mate.”

“He doesn’t know you’re here, does he?” I could hear the laughter in her voice. 

“It’s not like I’m on curfew or something. I have my own life. We just share a flat.”

“I know,” she said, and silence settled between them, as comfortable as I was laying there. John continued patiently petting me. I’d almost fallen asleep when I heard his voice, speaking over the sound of the telly.

“What about you? You’re not...still. With Anderson I mean?”

“He didn’t deserve me.”

“No. He didn’t.” 

I dozed off into a nice nap, but it was interrupted by the sound of the phone and Sally saying she’d been on her way. 

“So much for my day off,” Sally said. “And yours too, I reckon. Sounds like one of _those_ cases. I’ll bet Lestrade’s on the phone to The...”

“Don’t.” 

Sally laughed out loud this time. 

“You want to ride with me or are you afraid he’ll catch on? Cat hair on your trousers or something.”

“I’ll ride.” 

“You want him to know, don’t you?” 

“Maybe.” 

They both got up, clearly forgetting about me, until I reminded them.

“I think you need to leave some to leave food for Charlie.”

I was being left along again, but this time with a full bowl. 

“All right,” Sally said, walking out with door with Doctor John Watson behind her. “Let’s go. Work to do.”

I decided that she could keep him.


End file.
